when you really want to see fruit and God is saying: "...take root."
That first night we moved into our home, I couldn’t really sleep.
It was the week before our wedding that something beneath us quivered. We’d found out that my work would end soon after. And right there at a fitting appointment as I stood within the fabrics of my new dress, I was reminded of what I’d journaled just a few weeks before, “Lord, I can’t wait for our wedding to come and go so we can begin this adventure and I can get back to the dreams you’ve given me.” Words of a gleeful to-be-wedded girl who thought a wedding and marriage would: “come and go.”
It turns out you can pen down your own life, but you soon begin to live out what’s been Penned down for you.
What has been penned down for you.
I’d crawl out of bed every morning as Mr. Steady’s alarm went off at 5am. I would pour him a glass of water, hand him his lunch, wave him a kiss as he backed out of the driveway at 6am. As I locked the door behind me, I would be standing right where all my days were spent. All 9 months of them. If you came through my door you could almost hear it: the living room echoing self-preached sermons and tearful prayers at battle-fronts. The bedroom speaking languages of the pulling down of strongholds. It was all around like words on the wall. Like a wall of fire. The spirit-fights and spirit-victories of a stay-at-home, make-a-home wife whose work was now the same thing every day: Pray without ceasing.
One glory-grace-filled invitation each day: Pray without ceasing.
Because you have to know this and marriage is where you live it: loving someone is the best work. Praying for someone is the most glorious call.
You can feel like your days are empty and your moments are wasted. Taking walks just to return in time to make dinner. You can feel a bit busted and used. Wondering how it all came down to this.
Where is the fruit? Where are the words I journaled and prayed?
Where are my dreams? How did I become the wife whose days are spent within the walls of her home, slicing onions and scrubbing floors? This wasn’t what I saw. Honest, this isn’t what I chose.
But this: is what was penned down for me. So that I could bend down, scrub off the words I had written for myself and live the glorious call that echoed my name.
Because how did I think I would say “I do”, just to return to work and life without fully knowing what “I did”. Without living out what “I have done” from its beginning.
God will pull you back when He knows running is not the call. He will slow you down when He knows you haven’t walked these roads before. He will open your eyes to see veiled things along the way. He will slow you down long enough to teach your heart how to pray for the things that are to come. He will come sit with you long enough to prepare you to love like He does, pray like He did, live like He did. He will come and show you how to drive this ‘thing’ in His Direction. How to root your home on The Cornerstone.
How did I think? I wouldn’t slow down. That God wouldn’t pull me back by the neck to teach me how to bear down and really be a wife.
It’s easy to want to show everyone you’re still the same. That even though you’re married, you still have your time. That you don’t really have to make a home. That you don’t have a garden to tend to.
But here is the thing: what you do not feed will not grow. What does not have root will not grow.
And this is the one thing God didn’t want me to miss: in this season, this is your purpose: your husband. your marriage.
You will have to slow down, bear down and feed your marriage, prayer. Root your marriage in prayer.
This is the food for the soul of your marriage: prayer.
I could have easily missed that.
From that very first night in our home, God has taken me by the hand to teach me prayer like never before. Every day, as Mr. Steady went off on his day, I would take position. I would bear down. My life became a posture of prayer. Because I had everything to pray for, and God used this time to teach me the things to pray even harder for.
I was praying for a job. God was teaching me to pray without ceasing for my husband’s heart and mind.
I was praying for provision. God was teaching me to humble myself under my husband as provider.
I wanted to get busy with my hands. God was teaching me to tend to the ‘garden’ of my home.
I was seeking something ‘exciting’ to do every day. God was teaching me to abide in the mundane.
I was ready to see fruit. Bear fruit. God was telling me to: “wait, take root.”
He was daily digging for my root to go far in deep. And even deeper.
God was calling me to come and lay it all down. My agenda for my marriage. God was saying throw it in fire. I know the plans I have for you.
We can be there: ready for marriage, ready for our baby, for some exciting new season, for our dreams to come true and God can be saying it’s time for the quiet. It’s time for just me and you.
Time to study your Bible. Time to learn how to pray. Time to prepare for what you’re praying for. Time to take root.
Because where you are going is always worth preparing for. And God knows this: so He slows you down for preparation.
He invites you to lock arms with Him to fight before you even see the fight. To take territory before anything is even stolen. To look the enemy in the eye now that you’ve got the strength. To let him know that you know that your "weapons of warfare are not carnal but mighty in Your God for the pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself against your knowledge of your God…" (2 Corinthians 10: 4-6)
Because you’ve let yourself be deeply rooted, you’ve taken the battlefield where it should be: out of your home and between the enemy and Your God.